21st Birthday
by fanneth
Summary: Based on true facts, this story will take you to Paul McCartney's 21st Birthday, when things went terribly wrong. John and Paul would have to be sincere with each other.


Overview:

According to _John_ by Cynthia Lennon, in 1963, there was a party, celebrating Paul's 21st birthday. Besides, The Beatles were celebrating their success in a national tour they did with Ferry and The Pacemakers and Roy Orbinson. They had released their new single _From Me To You_ and they were really excited because the single reached No. 1 right after _Please Please Me_.

A few weeks before that party, Brian invited John to visit Spain for twelve days, so they could rest and forget about the busy weeks they had ahead. But these innocent vacations turned into hell because they were the cause of several rumors about a relationship between Brian and John, which infuriated John and he regreted joining this trip.

This story is based on true facts, and some of the author's imagination.

_[Like] most lads at the time, [John] was horrified by the idea of homosexuality."_

-Cynthia Lennon.

**June 18, 1963.**

The party is going well tonight. I could even say that my 21th birthday will be remembered for many years.

Yes, we are having a great night.

My aunt's house is not too big, but it's big enough to give room to a lot of drunk men, shouting and singing like an army of pigs. A few of them I've never met before, but there are a lot of good friends, so I'm happy to enjoy this night with them.

The drinks and the dinner were splendid. Aunt Jin did a great job with the food, and our bellies are so full, that we have to drink more alcohol because we are not able to get drunk.

John is having a great night too. I find myself looking at him from my place, a lonely chair in the corner, which I took because I was so tired of playing. At that moment all I wanted was to smoke a cigarette with my own shadow. Jane is in the other corner, sitting next to Cyn and talking excitedly with her, and of course, laughing at all the crazy things we are doing. She seems to be enjoying the party as much as I do.

John, in the other side, is mental. He has so much energy; he is never tired of making jokes, drinking and shouting with the _Piggies' Army_, as I call them. I was so tired of laughing at his jokes that I had to take rest from them. So, here I am, watching him, in my lonely chair. I could make a song about this.

_I was just sitting in my lonely chair,  
>Watching all these pigs, flying over my head,<br>Smoking my last cigarette, and begging to them,  
>"Don't make me laugh, Mr. Joker, give me a break!"<em>

Yeah, I know, this is rubbish. I'm drunk, what did you expect? A new hit? No.

Tired of looking at John, I look at Bob Wooler. Our happy old friend is drunk as well. He is talking with Brian, and he is listening to him, very amused, I wonder what they are talking about.

"Hey, McCharmly, what the hell are you doing there? C'mon, let's see what you've got!", John shouts, and he performs a hilarious tap dance. The _Piggies' Army _laughed stupidly.

"No, John, I'll be just sitting here, get your shit together and have a rest. At this rate, you'll be dead tomorrow!"

"HA! I'll never die, you moron! I shall live forever, or, at least, I'll live until my arse is famous and everybody adores it!"

I can't help but laugh at this.

"Okay, John, whatever you say!"

"Don't worry, McCharmly, I'll reserve a piece of my arse for you to conserve it when I'm gone!"

"No, thanks!"

"You've lost the chance! I'll give it to George."

"Oh my God!", George shouts, as he stands up, thanking and making bows like he was receiving an important trophy.

I laugh at this so hard that the smoke makes me cough.

"Watch out, Paul! I hope you don't die instead of me."

"Shut up, John", I said, laughing and coughing, at the same time. I feel Jane's gaze and I look at her, smiling and calming her down. She smiles too.

Then, I decide to stand up and get a drink. The cough is persistent. I walk to the kitchen and I look for a glass of water. I'm a little tired of alcohol. I find a clean glass, hidden behind a teapot and I fill it up with water. I can hear the laughs and the jokes from here. It's perfect, this party is just perfect. I can't imagine a better party like this one. I'm so happy to share this happiness with the others. I'm 21 now, and I bet there are better things waiting for us. It's just a matter of time, and we'll reach all the goals we have since we were kids.

The water calms the cough down and I feel much better. I felt like my lungs were going to explode, you know? Like they were screaming like the people outside the kitchen. In fact, what are those screams about? Are they telling ghost stories again?

But, no. These screams are terrifying. I put the glass of water above the table and I run to see what's happening. The next scene is in slow motion.

As I reach the place where everyone had been, all I can do at first is to just stand there, watching the events unfold. I can't move an inch of my body, as if the force of shock was stopping me from doing so.

The first thing I see is the red glow in the big stick that John is grabbing. I'm hypnotized by this glow, like an evil eye I couldn't stop watching. Next I see the same red glow over Bob's body. It takes a few seconds for my brain to understand what's happening. John is beating Bob, like mad, and shouting at him, possessed by fury. I don't understand any of this, but when George shouts my name, my shock is gone and I regain control over my body.

I run and I grab John's arms, trying to stop him. But he is too strong. He has always been stronger than me. I'm just like a silly girl against him. But this time, I have to impose my will. You shouldn't do this John...

Struggling and fighting against each other, John stops. My lungs hurting again, because John is pushing me on the chest. But at least, he has stopped the beating. He is staring at what he did, so am I. Bob Wooler is in the ground, lying in fetal position, protecting himself against the beat he received. He is not crying, he is just there, bleeding, in silence. Horrified, the rest of the people in the room are watching John as if a ghost or the devil himself. John doesn't say anything. I grab John's hand and I take him through the garden. I couldn't stand those gazes on him. Even, when I undestand they had a reason.

We are in the kitchen now, safe from those disappointed faces. I watched Jane's and all I could see was horror. I couldn't watch Cyn's expression because I didn't find her in the crowd.

John is exhausted. He slumps in a chair, but he doesn't say anything to me, either. I don't know what to do, so I stay in my place, standing up and looking around. I feel like we were there for ages, sinking in the silence and not able to scape from it. I keep feeling the pain on my chest, but now I don't know if it is because of the cough, the fighting... those gazes over John... or just because the way I'm feeling about this. I don't understand shit. Why did this happen? Why during my party? Why Bob Wooler? Why John...? And why didn't he say anything?

With those questions bombing my mind, my head starts to hurt too. The alcohol is doing its effect. When I begin to get tired about this awful silence, I walk through the door but I hear John's voice.

"A-are you leaving me?", he says, with a broken voice.

"Yes." It's all I could say.

"Why?"

Then my head explodes, so does my mouth. I turn to him and I begin to shout.

"Why? WHY, YOU ASK? Let me ask you, why did you do all of this? On my birthday, in my aunt's house, why did you do it, wanker!"

At first, I was relieved to shout at him, but then I was terrified because I was sure to be the next in John's beating ritual tonight. But he didn't do anything, he just stared at me, quietly.

"I was infuriated", he says, simply.

"But why?" I ask.

"You won't understand" says John, looking down.

"Why do you think I won't? I thought we were best friends and you promised to tell me everything that worries you, but suddenly you said that I_ won't_ understand the shit you've done!"

John put his hands in his face and hides his eyes from me. I wonder if he is crying, but in the dark, it's too difficult to see his expression... or tears...

"It's all about the rumors that have been chasing me... us, through these days. The rumors about Brian and I..."

"I get it" I say, because saying that seems to be hurting John so much. I feel a little twinge in my heart, but I don't understand it. I ignore it.

"So, I was there... joking with the others, then Bob came to me and he was all drunk... like me... and he began to tease me, saying that he wanted to know more about me and Brian and that he knew what is going on between us... So, I got pissed and I took that bloody stick... and... I bet you saw it"

It is my turn to keep quiet.

Now, I understand everything. The sirens begin to be heard, I realize that someone called to the ambulance to help Bob. John and I listen to them, without seeing each other. After a few minutes, the sirens stop.

I look at John, and he is staring at the floor, as if there isn't anything more important to him. When I recover my voice, I ask:

"But why make such a big deal about this? They're all lies and bullshit. Why did you have to take it that far?"

"Because I was pissed! Okay? I told you that you wouldn't understand shit"

"I-I understand, John, but why do you listen to that bastard? Why do you listen to people's rumors? If you know that it isn't the truth then you don't have to..."

"IT'S BECAUSE I LOVE- "

"Cyn, I know", I interrupt.

John doesn't say a word for a few seconds, then he mutters something I'm unable to hear. But I continue:

"I know that you don't want to get Cyn involved in these stupid rumors, but you have to be strong, John, for her sake. And doing this, will not take you to a good place, you know?"

John growls.And he stands up from his chair. I recoil and I look at him, through the darkness, but I'm not able to know what he's going to do. _Damn you, John... you scared me to death... _ After I think this, I discover that John is afraid of something... Something I don't know about, even Cyn doesn't know... But, what? Then, I realize what it is.

"Don't be scared to be called a "queer", John. It's not the truth..." I tell him.

I don't immediately receive an answer, so I wait until John asks:

"… Do you want to know the truth?"

I keep quiet. I don't know what to answer. Now, he is showing his back to me, and I can't see his face.

"Yes..."

"Damn you, Paul, do you want it, now?"

"Yes, I always want to know what..."

Then John turns to me and I recoil again. I thought he was about to punch me in my face but then, when I realized what's happening, I felt a rough kiss on my lips... a fierce kiss... I don't know what to do.

John is kissing me and I'm just there... His mouth smells of alcohol and cigarettes. This was not a kiss like Jane's or like Dot's, soft and tender. This kiss is rough and powerful, like my soul was going to be sucked out of my body... fiercely, deranged... and full of passion. I start to answer the kiss. I couldn't resist that passion... it's like a drug.

Then, we hear Cyn's voice, calling for John. We break apart immediately and I feel I'm missing my breath.

Cyn comes into the kitchen and tells John that they must go. John obeys her orders and they leave me alone, in the kitchen. They didn't say good bye, they didn't say anything. They just left... John left me and now, I feel like everything is falling apart.

"_Not true. They were best friends."_

-Cynthia Lennon.


End file.
